Monkey as a Pet

Why would a monkey make a good pet? It is like adopting a child from the wild forest from a Jungle Adoption Agency. Why would a monkey make a good pet?! Like a child, he or she or it throws random tantrums and then tries to rip your face off because you didn't give him or her or it what he or she or it wants. Why would I want a monkey as a pet?! They pee and poop everywhere that looks clean! Those stinky bastards!...I mean "stinky mustards"! Why can't I have a koala as a pet? They might have sharp claws but they are the sweetest creatures to hold, even though they weigh like a pound baby with heavy "bombs" in its diapers. Koalas are great climbers and might be closer to extinction. Why save a monkey with no manners if I can save a koala that can fit into the middle class? Higher class even! Someone convince me! Who is the better pet? A show-off monkey? Or a calm koala?